WT #1 pg. 589
The parent’s attitudes towards marriage as portrayed in Achebe’s story are the complete opposite as my parent’s attitudes. In Achebe’s story the father does not like the women his son is going to marry and he will disown his son if he does choose to marry the women. This is a regular occurrence in different religions and cultures all over the world. Cultures who participate in arranged marriages do this to set their daughter up to marry a man that will give her and her family better status and financial opportunities. As for my parents, they trust my judgment in choosing a wife if I ever decide to be serious enough in a relationship. When I visit my parents and I tell them I’m bringing a friend, they know what to expect. Usually when I go and visit my parents I bring someone with me, not always a girlfriend but a girl I’m casually seeing. I do this for I can have a better reason to leave that day when my mom asks me to stay, as she always does. But when my parents see me and the girl I brought, they usually know if I’m serious or not. When my friend gets along with my mom and dad it makes me like my friend more and know that she’s girlfriend material. Only a few times my mother came up to me or called and told me that I should “keep this one around”. My parents are totally different in what they want me to do relationship wise. My dad wants me to not get serious with any girl and on the other hand my mom wants me to sort of settle down. I actually like that both of my parents have different views in what I should do, but they have similar views at the same time. For example, they both want me to be happy in my relationships and also if I decide to marry someone I know they will both respect my decision because I am very selective. I also know they will not disown me if I do marry someone they don’t like, as in the Achebe’s story. Even when it comes to religion, my parents accept all religions, except the extremism ones. I’ve had friends with all sorts of religions and my parents never had any problems or concerns. Of course any parent who is religious would prefer to have their son marry someone in their religion. It would make it easier when the couple decides to have children, but if everyone accepts it, it shouldn’t be a problem. At the end of the day, everyone should marry whoever they love and believe would be a good wife or husband. Also only marry if they are sure they will stay with them for the rest of their lives. There is over a 50% divorce rate in this country, and this needs to change. People are marrying for the wrong reasons, they marry because they believe it’s no big deal, or they think they’re in love, and also people marry to early. People should be together for years before they get married, and they don’t even have to get married. Just pretend you are and be in a committed relationship. All marriage is, is a piece of paper.
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I agree with you, many cultures today still have that idea or tradition of the arrangements of marriages, which is very sad. Although today, the judgment between my parents on who to marry was more given to the girls, because my parents always thought it was okay on letting the guy choose his mate although they hate it his mate . My parents were not judgmental but they did let me and my sister know what they thought of our partners, while the guy was just received with their hands open. I see that you have the same believes as my brother, he does not believe in marriage and he would agree with you that marriage is just a piece of paper. But you have to ask yourself that question before marriage, because I believe that if you think marriage is just a piece of paper, then maybe that step should not be taken. However, if you have a bit of disagreement with the fact that marriage is just a piece of paper than you should take that next step. Further through, I personally believe that marriage is not just a piece of paper and that it is the religious attachment between two people that are attracted to each other. However, I do agree that we have to take more time to think about the person we want to marry, because this is not a game and it should be taken as a responsible act not as a source to show anyone your love. This will avoid many divorces and rural directories in relationships.
ReplyDeleteYour post made me laugh. I think it's sweet that your parents care so much about you and they know you so well. When I bring someone I'm seeing home my Mom never knows what I'm thinking until I just come out and say it. haha. I don't see my Dad often but if I did, he'd most definitely have no clue. I like that you talked about the presumed "rush to marry" feeling everyone seems to be indulging in America and the 50%+ divorce rates. I agree with you there, people aren't thinking it through. When I read your opinions about arranged marriage I think you left something out. I agree that girls families do marry for prestige and often monetary or social reasons but I also think the family does consider the womans/mans happiness in the marriage as well. I have friends who have had arranged marriages and I didn't really understand the concept until I was able to really see it firsthand. They see it like a village raising a child, everyone wants the best for them both economically and spiritually so they choose someone good for that person even if the person can't see the forest through the trees you know? Just like your parents telling you who they think is good for you or not. The only difference is that you don't have to marry the girl at the end of the date if your parents like her. hahaha. Great piece though, good job.
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